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Along A Well-Trod Path

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All is not lost [Jan. 17th, 2008|04:53 pm]
Lupe
At least as far as our children are concerned.

Last week, I asked my son about his day after picking him up from school, as I usually do. He told me about how a large portion of the day was spent in training programs, the first of which was a fire drill session for school buses. It was the second session that made me jump (which isn't easy to do in a moving pickup truck).

He shrugged and casually said, "We had to go through the abstinence program today."

"Do what? The abstinence program? What? Are you kidding me?"

He laughed. "Nope."

I groaned. "Dammit."

"What?"

I sighed. "It's the fact that they're using my damn tax dollars to support a program that has had little to no effect on teen pregnancy. Some people think it's made the situation worse. Dammit... did they at least mention condoms?" Please note that this was the first time I had ever said the word "condom" in front of my boy. Talk about an uncomfortable moment.

He laughed again, "Yeah, but only to tell us how unreliable they are. How like they're always breaking and stuff."

"WHAT! What the fu... Are you serious? They were actually dissuading you kids from using condoms?"

"Yeah. Don't worry dad. Nobody in class took it seriously. We all know it was a joke."

As we came up to a stoplight, I took a deep breath. I figgered it was time for a truncated version of  "The Talk." Not too much detail about the function, but enough so that he wouldn't get into a bad situation.

"Okay son, here's the deal. As your father and one-half of your parenting unit, I would really prefer that you wait a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, time before you ever have sex. And when you do have it, it's preferable that you have it with someone you're in love with. But when you do have it, even when it's with someone you love, you better use a damn condom, because there are more than a few diseases out there that you need to watch out for. And honestly, I'm not prepared to become a grandfather for quite some time."

He laughed again - then I took another deep breath, and a big step...

"And if you ever need condoms, and you can't get any, say if you're embarrassed or afraid, or broke, or whatever... then you ask me. I'll get some for you. Because I don't want you to get sick, or die, or become tied to another person because of a stupid mistake. Do you understand? You come to me, no questions asked."

"Okay, dad." I think he rolled his eyes.

"I suppose you'll tell me next that they're gonna start teaching intelligent design in your science classes next."

"Naw, that's not gonna happen. Our science teacher told us that intelligent design was a load of crap, and she was sorry if that offended anyone, but evolution is science, and that was what she taught."

I nodded. "Good. And if you ever hear about any parents giving her hassle about that, you let me know."

"Okay, dad."



And then we kicked ass in Halo 3 all afternoon.
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Comments:
From: breathlesslover
2008-01-18 12:42 am (UTC)
*hugs* Hey, you did a great job talking to your kid! You're a good dad. :-p Also, I can't believe there are still schools that teach abstinence only! That's completely ridiculous.
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[User Picture]From: argent_fish
2008-01-18 04:49 pm (UTC)
Thanks, I give it my best shot. Here in the Bible Belt, there are some idiots that believe it's the only proper approach. Talk about denial.
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[User Picture]From: soul_serenity
2008-01-18 01:33 am (UTC)
good good talk, my niece just had her first period and my sister completely freaked out so bad she could barely look at her....lol. you did good.
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[User Picture]From: argent_fish
2008-01-18 04:50 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I'm just glad I have a son - I can't imagine having a talk with a daughter about that kind of biology. I think my head would 'splode.
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